3 Years Gone
Today is the 3rd year anniversary of our Patti's passing.
Reading over my previous entries I realize that little more can I say about it. Unrelenting Time keeps moving us along.
We get better.
All things.. they are what they are.
This is life. We each take our turns at it, for better or for worse until the parting of ways.
This year I will practice more the concept of Savoring.. for all things are in process... the disappearance of one thing as it becomes another thing, all and everything, small and great, in some kind of monumental transitioning "dance in time" toward becoming Whole. (hence the title of this poor blog)
And after that? Who knows.. maybe there is no "after that", maybe we do just disappear and all these experiences and relationships formed in a lifetime are just quietly forgotten.
On the other hand, maybe not and the process toward wholeness continues never really reaching the End.
Infinity is a bit too much to comprehend this early in the morning.
A cup of coffee is more the speed.
But Time does tend to mend holes in hearts as all of us who have lost others we love know to be true. It must heal lest we become some dark and pitiful abberation of nature which even nature has little use for in its own Grand Process.
Still and all, not without scars and caution as all of us continue to learn about ourselves and living (or at least trying to live) at what is important to each one of us.
Fascinating are the changes, the "spaces", the process we may find ourselves in. So many ways of seeing. So many attitudes.
I'm turning 66 tomorrow.. I am reminded of a line from one of my favorite movies "Meet Joe Black" in referencing the years of one's life... "..don't they go by in a blink?".
They certainly do. Here one moment..
Savor the moment when an angel taps your shoulder and says "Look! You Here! Grab hold of this before it vanishes!"...for it will be gone in a blink.
Somewhere just beyond savoring the thing at hand lies Wonder that can be grasped for a moment. Then, that too we are compelled to Let Go of lightly. The parting of the ways.
This practice of Savoring is the way to Wonder. Of that I am convinced.
* * *
I've decided to go on a little winter adventure to Florida. (can visiting Florida really be called an adventure?! ) Ok, a nice safe adventure if "safe" and "adventure" are not too oxymoron-ish.
My intention is, again, to make some pictures and video and of course put on a few entries here along with a teacup full of personal philosophy.
It's what I sometimes do but for the life of me I'm not really sure why.
My plan was to leave this morning, however because of a dream I woke up with awhile ago.. that at a gas station my truck was stolen as I was inside paying for the gas, I've decided that I may wait one more day, throw off the possible sequencing of events into a completely new line-of-time and experience and go tomorrow instead.
(yeah, I'm like that when I can be. I pay attention to early morning dreams. And I'm on no schedule that matters to others.)
On this 3rd anniversary of Patti's vanishing from this world and also in memory of all those who have journeyed on before us, I'll post the poem sent to me by Matthew & Family, during my time of loss 3 years ago today that has always struck me deep with hope.
“I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and starts
for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!"
"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad
shout;
"Here she comes!"
-Henry Van Dyke
Reading over my previous entries I realize that little more can I say about it. Unrelenting Time keeps moving us along.
We get better.
All things.. they are what they are.
This is life. We each take our turns at it, for better or for worse until the parting of ways.
This year I will practice more the concept of Savoring.. for all things are in process... the disappearance of one thing as it becomes another thing, all and everything, small and great, in some kind of monumental transitioning "dance in time" toward becoming Whole. (hence the title of this poor blog)
And after that? Who knows.. maybe there is no "after that", maybe we do just disappear and all these experiences and relationships formed in a lifetime are just quietly forgotten.
On the other hand, maybe not and the process toward wholeness continues never really reaching the End.
Infinity is a bit too much to comprehend this early in the morning.
A cup of coffee is more the speed.
But Time does tend to mend holes in hearts as all of us who have lost others we love know to be true. It must heal lest we become some dark and pitiful abberation of nature which even nature has little use for in its own Grand Process.
Still and all, not without scars and caution as all of us continue to learn about ourselves and living (or at least trying to live) at what is important to each one of us.
Fascinating are the changes, the "spaces", the process we may find ourselves in. So many ways of seeing. So many attitudes.
I'm turning 66 tomorrow.. I am reminded of a line from one of my favorite movies "Meet Joe Black" in referencing the years of one's life... "..don't they go by in a blink?".
They certainly do. Here one moment..
Savor the moment when an angel taps your shoulder and says "Look! You Here! Grab hold of this before it vanishes!"...for it will be gone in a blink.
Somewhere just beyond savoring the thing at hand lies Wonder that can be grasped for a moment. Then, that too we are compelled to Let Go of lightly. The parting of the ways.
This practice of Savoring is the way to Wonder. Of that I am convinced.
I've decided to go on a little winter adventure to Florida. (can visiting Florida really be called an adventure?! ) Ok, a nice safe adventure if "safe" and "adventure" are not too oxymoron-ish.
My intention is, again, to make some pictures and video and of course put on a few entries here along with a teacup full of personal philosophy.
It's what I sometimes do but for the life of me I'm not really sure why.
My plan was to leave this morning, however because of a dream I woke up with awhile ago.. that at a gas station my truck was stolen as I was inside paying for the gas, I've decided that I may wait one more day, throw off the possible sequencing of events into a completely new line-of-time and experience and go tomorrow instead.
(yeah, I'm like that when I can be. I pay attention to early morning dreams. And I'm on no schedule that matters to others.)
On this 3rd anniversary of Patti's vanishing from this world and also in memory of all those who have journeyed on before us, I'll post the poem sent to me by Matthew & Family, during my time of loss 3 years ago today that has always struck me deep with hope.
“I am standing upon the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and starts
for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!"
"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad
shout;
"Here she comes!"
-Henry Van Dyke
6 Comments:
Always listen to those dreams and "gut feelings" see ya soon
Be safe. Enjoy your trip and know we are with you in spirit!
Gracias to you both. And anonymous comments are always welcome. I don't need to know the who to grasp the what being presented my way.
bill
You're a teacher, Bill, and I -- a stubborn student closed tight against new learnings. Lots of lessons here that would really do me good as this race of Time dis-spirits me. But I seem to opt for the dark, not liking one bit the way generations of us have only had "a turn" at it. But I'll continue reading your reflections.
Watch out for the gators.
Warm regards.
Matthew & Family
Your writing is getting better and better :). Nancy
Hi Nancy! Welcome aboard.. Thanks for the compliment but just to stay balanced in my running commentary I guarantee (and promise) to churn out my fair share of Trashy Blog Pulp Fiction! We'll see what transpires in the days ahead.
Currently sitting outside a Starbucks about 1000 feet from the ocean. too much caffeine, I keeep misssing the keyboard butttons.
;-)bill
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